Starting to Paint Again

I haven't been in the mood lately to paint.....but got in to it the other night. 
So, here's "Waterfall II"

Weight gain or not weight gain, that is the question

Well, I think I've decided on the Remicade, but I found out I have to wait til the end of November for my next gastro appt.  So, almost 3 months to "stir".  Fun.  I guess the benefits outweigh the costs.  If I get cancer, I get cancer.  There's no way to stop it really.  I could get cancer whether I take the Remicade or not. I'm more worried about my liver and the fact they have to test it all the time....but....if it'll heal me and take away the pain, or even let me gain some weight!  I'll be happy.  I need to find out how much this is going to cost, money wise as well.........Let's see where this new journey takes us shall we......

Decision Time

Talked to my Dr after my colonoscopy, still groggy of course, so I'm glad my wife was there, and she said what I didn't want to hear.  She found "significant inflammation" about 10 inches in.  Options given..?

1. Surgery
2. Start on a drug called Remicade
3. Start on a drug called Humera

Now, the problem I'm having is, that I need to do one of them.  I've already ruled out #3 as it involves injections.  Remicade is intravenously, but some of the possible side effects are what I'm worried about (cancer).  And surgery doesn't really solve anything, it'll return either way.
Not alot of choices.....
Anyone out there on either Humera or Remicade..??????
Help.

It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's, It's....

....Angry, Frustrated Man!!!!
I had a specialist appt on Tuesday and she wants me to go in for a colonoscopy....on Friday.  That's pretty quick I'm thinking.  I'm also thinking, what the hell is wrong.  So, here we go.  Today is Wednesday and my gut is doing flip flops like it's taking part in the Gastro Olympics or something!  Going to the washroom every half hour, eventhough I haven't barely eaten anything.  Angry and frustrated..?  Yyyyyyep, you could say that. (insert apology here for my family)
But there's nothing like a Friday being knocked out and having a camera shoved up your ass!  Unless you're in college, then that's a regular occurance.

100th Post

So, I noticed that this is my 100th post and I can't believe I've written on here so many times.  Even my wife said, "Has it been that many already?".  Now comes the task of what to write for such a special occasion.  I thought about it for a few days and came up with something that I haven't written about yet.  Sooooo, I thought, why not write a "Thank you" card.
Where to start.  There are literally hundreds of people I can thank during my bout with Crohn's and I know I'm going to forget some (sorry). 
I want to start by thanking the doctor who finally diagnosed me after months and months of seeing doctors.  Then all the doctors I've seen since, in hospitals, offices and clinics.  My current family doctor, my surgeon, my gastroenterologist, all can never ever be thanked enough.....ever.  The fabulous nurses that I've had the pleasure of knowing and even the ones I don't know (operating room nurses).  Dieticians, counselors and other hospital patients.  Current and past employers and employees who put up with my abscences, especially since I never know when I'm going to be abscent (last minute).  Those other Crohn's patients, sufferers, battlers and survivors who I've talked to and helped me and those I've helped in my own little way.  My friends who have helped me and my family over the 20+ years, not only with helping out physically and monetarily, but mentally as well.  Alot can be said with just words....thank you.
Then there is my family.  They have put up with the most crap over the years.  First....sorry, then..thank you.
My dad, whom has always been there, no matter what and whatever the distance.  My mum, who always tried to keep my spirits up even when I was 120lbs and people thought I had AIDS.  She's gone now, but I know she's still got my back.  My England family, who helped me out when I became very ill while visiting and were right.....I probably should have stayed longer and had the surgery there instead of flying 8 hours in tremendous pain.  My extended family, step and inlaws, who were brought in on this "journey" without being asked.  My brothers and sister who have understanded, cared and helped along the way.  My two kids, who still don't understand fully what's up with Dad, but try very hard not to "get Daddy" in the stomach area, and I know it must be frustrating for them sometimes trying to understand why Daddy can't play with them or go to some places with them.  But maybe one day soon they will get it.
And finally, to the one person who puts up with me daily and sometimes I don't know why....my lovely wife.  She has stayed with me, even when we were dating, knowing about what I had.  She didn't run away, like others had in the past.  She has been there through thick and thin, through hospital visits, surgeries, and the like.  Through my stubborness and stupidity over the disease.  She has been my rock, my everything.  She completes me.  I don't know what I would do or where I would be without her.....I love you.
Thank you to you all....I can never repay you.

Attack of the Oreo Cookie

Quietly I waited.  Waiting for just the right moment to make my move.  After months of waiting in this crowded, dark, dry little space, I will be free.  Free to torment another.  Shhhhhh....I hear someone coming.  Could this be the time?  Could this be my moment of glory?  We're moving!!  They are taking us down off the shelf and opening the bag, my tomb.  Come on....pick me dammit!  It's MY time.  It's MY turn.  You know you want to....you know you shouldn't....but you're going to anyway.  They are reaching in...I can feel the pressure on my hard cookie exterior....they have me!!!!  They bring me out and suddenly there is light...bright blinding light!  Then darkness as I am eaten alive!! Then, CRUNCH!  They bit into my hard flesh in one bite, the ANIMAL!!  But....it's payback time.  I can see on my travels along their digestive tract, they are diseased.  Muuahhh ahhh hahhhhhhh!!!  I've got you now!!  They appear to be....hmmm...yes, yes, I can see it now......they are....a Crohnie!!!  Muahhhhh ahhh hahhhhh!!!  Maybe my hard outer chocolate coating might not harm you, but my creamy sugary center will!!!  Eat ME will you!!!!  I am going to stay with you at least a few hours and cause you so much pain and discomfort, you will never want to eat an Oreo again!  Muahhh ahh hahhhh!!!  I sacrificed myself for my fellow package mates.  I am a martyr.  I AM OREO!!

A Day at the Northwest Washington Fair....by a Crohnie

Got up early to make sure the boys were ready, had to go to work quick anyway, and I had breakfast at 7am (keep that time in mind).  Made sure I went to the washroom a couple of times before we left, even if I didn't have to.  We left and got to the border around 9:30 and waited.....and waited.....and waited.....keeping in mind this is the "good" border crossing....and waited and finally crossed at around 10:20.  We headed down to Target first to get some items for the day and to do some returns and of course so the boys can go to the washroom.  Over to one more store to do a return and then off to the Fair.  By now, it's lunch time and we ate the sandwiches we brought, me? peanut butter and water.  THAT was my big meal of the day.  We had fun at the fair, but with the heat today, 30 degrees C, I wasn't handling it too too well.  My wife stood in line for ice cream, for them, not me, but they were sooooo large, I had to keep licking the cone of my eldest to stop it from dripping all over him....maybe not such a good idea at the time.....but.  So, after a few hours at the Fair, we headed back to the shady car to relax for a while.  We headed back in around 5:30 so the family could have dinner.  They had hamburgers, hot dogs and fries (we brought our own water) and they headed off to the Monster Truck show, while I headed  back to the car to lay down and relax.  Mainly cuz the show cost $30 just for them and tack on more if I went. 
But, by now, I'm starting to get that "hmmm" feeling.  You know the one.  The one that you're thinking, "am I going to last the length of the show, the wait at the border and the drive home to get to the washroom?"  Oh yeah, didn't I mention....I have yet to use the washroom.  Mainly because I hate using public washrooms.  I will if I have to, but ...yeeeeah, not my thing. 
Luckily they left the show early, but it's still after 9pm now.  Yes they had a great time at the show.  In their own words...."wicked!"  Yes, there was a wait at the border, but not bad, and we made it home after 10pm and after lugging the now asleep boys to bed, I finally got to get to the bathroom....whew.  And I finally got something to eat.
But as you can see, just going out to the Fair takes planning from a Crohnies part.  Can I eat? When can I eat? Should I eat?  If I eat, how long til I'll have to go to the washroom.?  Luckily, I didn't have much, so the ice cream didn't affect me like I thought it might.
So....in the end, you either have to starve yourself for the day, don't care about using public washrooms (especially disgusting ones) or.....be able to drive really, really fast.

So......it's finally official

I went to the doctor today to get the results of my blood work, which I already knew the answers to.  Low Iron and B12 due to anemia, but I'm taking the easy iron pills so we'll have more blood work in a month and a half to see if that helps.  But, I have also been having problems with my eyes and seeing things close, like words.  I wanted to make sure that there wasn't anything going on inside my eyes as a result of the lack of minerals etc.  The Dr didn't think so, but she tried an experiment on me.....right there in the doctors office!!  She handed me a magazine and asked me if I could read it, I said yes, but it's blury.  She handed me a pair of glasses and said, how bout now?  I said out loud...Holy Shit! What a difference!!.  "I can see, I can see, thank God Almighty, I can see!!!!!!"  Well, it wasn't quite THAT dramatic, but you get the idea.  The answer from my doctor?  She said,  (ahem) "you're just getting old".
So, it is finally official.....I'm old...... (er)

Iron and B12

So, I had some more blood work done the other day at my request, because I was feeling tired and just, well, worn out.  Eventhough I get B12 shots once a month, I was still feeling ...."blah"   My workup showed the usual culprits, low Iron, low B12, high white count, low red count..etc, etc.  I started taking these pills from a health food store called "easy Iron".  It has Iron, Folic Acid, B6, Vit C and B12 and within a few days, I can feel my energy go up.  I'm obviously not going to go out and run a marathon now, but I'm not so so tired right now and makes going to work easier.  I'll go get more blood work in a month or so and compare the results.  Because most of my large and part of my small intestine are non existant, I can't absorb the nutrients I need, so these Vite's are more easily absorbed so at least I'm getting "something".
Works for me!!

Midnight Snack

So, last night I couldn't sleep....again...and its either I'm hungry, my legs are bothering me or my Crohn's is bothering me.  So, I do what any 'normal' person would do and get up, go downstairs and check out the kitchen on what there is to snack on.  BUT WAIT!!  Is there anything in the cupboards or refridgerator that I can eat, being a Crohnie and all??  Hmmmmm, let's investigate shall we.  First, let's check the cupboard.  Peanut butter? maybe. Honey? nope. Wheat crackers? nope. Nutrigrain bars, wheat thins, gummie bears, Special K bars?  ah, hell no. Potato chips, marshmellows, chocolate chip cookies? nope.  Hmmmm, let's check the fridge.  Fruit? possible.....apples, grapes, oranges, nnnnnope.  Raw carrots, broccoli, cauliflower?  definately not. Okay then, how bout to drink, maybe that will quelch my hunger.  Pop, juice, iced tea? nope.  Water? yep.
So, what did I accomplish last night in the kitchen in search of a late night snack?  Other than the fact now, not only am I tired and hungry, but I'm also depressed....a nice cold tall glass of plain, ordinary, unflavored, but filtered....water.  Mmmmm, mmmm, mmmmmmmm

The moral to this story kids...don't get up