Attack of the Oreo Cookie

Quietly I waited.  Waiting for just the right moment to make my move.  After months of waiting in this crowded, dark, dry little space, I will be free.  Free to torment another.  Shhhhhh....I hear someone coming.  Could this be the time?  Could this be my moment of glory?  We're moving!!  They are taking us down off the shelf and opening the bag, my tomb.  Come on....pick me dammit!  It's MY time.  It's MY turn.  You know you want to....you know you shouldn't....but you're going to anyway.  They are reaching in...I can feel the pressure on my hard cookie exterior....they have me!!!!  They bring me out and suddenly there is light...bright blinding light!  Then darkness as I am eaten alive!! Then, CRUNCH!  They bit into my hard flesh in one bite, the ANIMAL!!  But....it's payback time.  I can see on my travels along their digestive tract, they are diseased.  Muuahhh ahhh hahhhhhhh!!!  I've got you now!!  They appear to be....hmmm...yes, yes, I can see it now......they are....a Crohnie!!!  Muahhhhh ahhh hahhhhh!!!  Maybe my hard outer chocolate coating might not harm you, but my creamy sugary center will!!!  Eat ME will you!!!!  I am going to stay with you at least a few hours and cause you so much pain and discomfort, you will never want to eat an Oreo again!  Muahhh ahh hahhhh!!!  I sacrificed myself for my fellow package mates.  I am a martyr.  I AM OREO!!