Thursday, August 25, 2011

Attack of the Oreo Cookie

Quietly I waited.  Waiting for just the right moment to make my move.  After months of waiting in this crowded, dark, dry little space, I will be free.  Free to torment another.  Shhhhhh....I hear someone coming.  Could this be the time?  Could this be my moment of glory?  We're moving!!  They are taking us down off the shelf and opening the bag, my tomb.  Come on....pick me dammit!  It's MY time.  It's MY turn.  You know you want know you shouldn't....but you're going to anyway.  They are reaching in...I can feel the pressure on my hard cookie exterior....they have me!!!!  They bring me out and suddenly there is light...bright blinding light!  Then darkness as I am eaten alive!! Then, CRUNCH!  They bit into my hard flesh in one bite, the ANIMAL!!'s payback time.  I can see on my travels along their digestive tract, they are diseased.  Muuahhh ahhh hahhhhhhh!!!  I've got you now!!  They appear to be....hmmm...yes, yes, I can see it now......they are....a Crohnie!!!  Muahhhhh ahhh hahhhhh!!!  Maybe my hard outer chocolate coating might not harm you, but my creamy sugary center will!!!  Eat ME will you!!!!  I am going to stay with you at least a few hours and cause you so much pain and discomfort, you will never want to eat an Oreo again!  Muahhh ahh hahhhh!!!  I sacrificed myself for my fellow package mates.  I am a martyr.  I AM OREO!!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

A Day at the Northwest Washington a Crohnie

Got up early to make sure the boys were ready, had to go to work quick anyway, and I had breakfast at 7am (keep that time in mind).  Made sure I went to the washroom a couple of times before we left, even if I didn't have to.  We left and got to the border around 9:30 and waited.....and waited.....and waited.....keeping in mind this is the "good" border crossing....and waited and finally crossed at around 10:20.  We headed down to Target first to get some items for the day and to do some returns and of course so the boys can go to the washroom.  Over to one more store to do a return and then off to the Fair.  By now, it's lunch time and we ate the sandwiches we brought, me? peanut butter and water.  THAT was my big meal of the day.  We had fun at the fair, but with the heat today, 30 degrees C, I wasn't handling it too too well.  My wife stood in line for ice cream, for them, not me, but they were sooooo large, I had to keep licking the cone of my eldest to stop it from dripping all over him....maybe not such a good idea at the time.....but.  So, after a few hours at the Fair, we headed back to the shady car to relax for a while.  We headed back in around 5:30 so the family could have dinner.  They had hamburgers, hot dogs and fries (we brought our own water) and they headed off to the Monster Truck show, while I headed  back to the car to lay down and relax.  Mainly cuz the show cost $30 just for them and tack on more if I went. 
But, by now, I'm starting to get that "hmmm" feeling.  You know the one.  The one that you're thinking, "am I going to last the length of the show, the wait at the border and the drive home to get to the washroom?"  Oh yeah, didn't I mention....I have yet to use the washroom.  Mainly because I hate using public washrooms.  I will if I have to, but ...yeeeeah, not my thing. 
Luckily they left the show early, but it's still after 9pm now.  Yes they had a great time at the show.  In their own words...."wicked!"  Yes, there was a wait at the border, but not bad, and we made it home after 10pm and after lugging the now asleep boys to bed, I finally got to get to the bathroom....whew.  And I finally got something to eat.
But as you can see, just going out to the Fair takes planning from a Crohnies part.  Can I eat? When can I eat? Should I eat?  If I eat, how long til I'll have to go to the washroom.?  Luckily, I didn't have much, so the ice cream didn't affect me like I thought it might. the end, you either have to starve yourself for the day, don't care about using public washrooms (especially disgusting ones) able to drive really, really fast.

Friday, August 19, 2011's finally official

I went to the doctor today to get the results of my blood work, which I already knew the answers to.  Low Iron and B12 due to anemia, but I'm taking the easy iron pills so we'll have more blood work in a month and a half to see if that helps.  But, I have also been having problems with my eyes and seeing things close, like words.  I wanted to make sure that there wasn't anything going on inside my eyes as a result of the lack of minerals etc.  The Dr didn't think so, but she tried an experiment on me.....right there in the doctors office!!  She handed me a magazine and asked me if I could read it, I said yes, but it's blury.  She handed me a pair of glasses and said, how bout now?  I said out loud...Holy Shit! What a difference!!.  "I can see, I can see, thank God Almighty, I can see!!!!!!"  Well, it wasn't quite THAT dramatic, but you get the idea.  The answer from my doctor?  She said,  (ahem) "you're just getting old".
So, it is finally official.....I'm old...... (er)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Iron and B12

So, I had some more blood work done the other day at my request, because I was feeling tired and just, well, worn out.  Eventhough I get B12 shots once a month, I was still feeling ...."blah"   My workup showed the usual culprits, low Iron, low B12, high white count, low red count..etc, etc.  I started taking these pills from a health food store called "easy Iron".  It has Iron, Folic Acid, B6, Vit C and B12 and within a few days, I can feel my energy go up.  I'm obviously not going to go out and run a marathon now, but I'm not so so tired right now and makes going to work easier.  I'll go get more blood work in a month or so and compare the results.  Because most of my large and part of my small intestine are non existant, I can't absorb the nutrients I need, so these Vite's are more easily absorbed so at least I'm getting "something".
Works for me!!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Midnight Snack

So, last night I couldn't sleep....again...and its either I'm hungry, my legs are bothering me or my Crohn's is bothering me.  So, I do what any 'normal' person would do and get up, go downstairs and check out the kitchen on what there is to snack on.  BUT WAIT!!  Is there anything in the cupboards or refridgerator that I can eat, being a Crohnie and all??  Hmmmmm, let's investigate shall we.  First, let's check the cupboard.  Peanut butter? maybe. Honey? nope. Wheat crackers? nope. Nutrigrain bars, wheat thins, gummie bears, Special K bars?  ah, hell no. Potato chips, marshmellows, chocolate chip cookies? nope.  Hmmmm, let's check the fridge.  Fruit? possible.....apples, grapes, oranges, nnnnnope.  Raw carrots, broccoli, cauliflower?  definately not. Okay then, how bout to drink, maybe that will quelch my hunger.  Pop, juice, iced tea? nope.  Water? yep.
So, what did I accomplish last night in the kitchen in search of a late night snack?  Other than the fact now, not only am I tired and hungry, but I'm also depressed....a nice cold tall glass of plain, ordinary, unflavored, but filtered....water.  Mmmmm, mmmm, mmmmmmmm

The moral to this story kids...don't get up

Monday, August 8, 2011


Started a Facebook page, still under development, called "Crohnie Island"
Let see where it takes us shall we......

Friday, August 5, 2011

It's a pain in the ass

You know, I've had Crohn's for a long time now, too long, you might say, and I can put up with alot of things.  And I have. 

1.  The abdominal pains, of course, in the beginning were very painful, quite painful, frequent and above all, irritating.
2.  Going to the bathroom all the time.  It got to the point where I stopped eating, just to avoid going to the bathroom.  Not very smart, I know, but when you start setting up the bathroom like a living area, to the point where you are basically living in the bathroom, not eating seemed, at the time, unimportant.
3.  Not eating your favorite things.  I miss(ed) ice cream, chocolate, dairy, popcorn, pop, juice (and ironically, I should be drinking raspberry or cranberry juice for my kidneys), tea, turkey, a simple salad, etc etc etc.
4.  Frequent hospital visits.  From surgeries to dehydration to kidney stones.....I almost had my own room in the hospital, I was there so many times.
5.  Knowing where every store, gas station or restaurant with a washroom is within a 50 km radius.
6.  Trying to explain "it" to others.  Why are you away so much?  What's wrong with you?  Why don't you eat more?  Come on, have a drink, don't be a "woman", and my personal favorite, You don't look sick?  And yes, these ARE some of the things I hear or have heard.  It got to the point where you want to say,
"You know what?, Fuck off!!"

Now, like I said, I can handle most things, but to this point, after 20+ years of Crohn's and everything that's happened to me and affected me (and my family), I'm getting sick and tired of the pain after frequent visits to the bathroom.  When you "go" up to 3-4 times in an hour, your ass is just screaming to you, "Awww, c'mon!! not again!!!!"  My saving grace?  My family knows, and my U.K. family knows too.....GERMOLINE!!!  Put that on, while my ass is screaming at's like "Ahhhhhhh, thanks mate"

So, to sum up.....Crohn's? bad!  Germoline? good!