Tuesday, December 30, 2014

BathroomMap App

I received an email from the founder of BathroomMap.


I thought you may be interested in sharing with your readers a new bathroom locator application that is now available on the Apple App Store (Android version is due out in Feb.). It's a free app and there's no advertising, and I believe it is the best bathroom locator app available and I designed it with the needs of those with IBD in mind. I'm looking to get the word out to the IBD community. The name of the app is BathroomMap and you can find it by visiting the link below on an iPhone.


https://itunes.apple.com/PL/app/id893820545


His mum has Crohn's and he has IBS.  I'm downloading it as soon as I publish this post.
I know that we all can use this, cuz "you never know when you got to go"



Friday, December 26, 2014

12 Days of a Crohnie Christmas

The twelve days of Christmas traditionally are the 12 days after Christmas, but instead of doing one for each day, I'm posting all twelve today, but in a "different" way.
Now remember, to get the full effect, you must sing it =)


On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Crohns Disease gave to me.........
...12 rolls of toilet paper,

11 packs of underwear,
10 visits to the ER,
9 blood tests,
8 B12 shots,
7 different doctors,
6 Remicade infusions,
5 fistulaaaaaaaaaaa's,
4 kidney stones,
3 bone density tests,
2 peri-anal abscesses

and a painful colonoscopyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!



Thursday, December 25, 2014

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 25

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


..... hope


Hope....they will find the cause
Hope....they will find the cure
Hope....that we all spend as little time in hospital as possible
Hope....that all Crohnie's around the world, have the most healthy of years for 2015

And that closes the Advent calendar for another year.  Looking forward to next year
Thanks for stopping by!!



Have a very Merry Christmas and all the best for a happy and healthy 2015!!!!

~Vern

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 24

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... pillows !!!
(to make that pillow mountain for the frequent nights we lay awake)

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Crohnie Christmas Tree

Saw this and immediately thought of the Crohn's community.....how many of us have this? =)



Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 23

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...

... a winning lottery ticket !!
(so we never have to call in sick again....ever!)

Monday, December 22, 2014

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 22

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... a neon sign flashing, "I know I don't LOOK sick"

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 21

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... raspberry tea !!
(for those darn kidney stones)

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Twas the Night Before a Crohnie Christmas

This year, I came up with my own version of the famous poem.  There are some words that might offend, but.....well.....I never said I was politically correct =)


Enjoy !!!




‘Twas the night before a Crohnie Christmas, quiet as a mouse
Trying to get to the bathroom without disturbing the spouse.
The TP was hung by the toilet with care,
In hopes that I don’t run out whilst I sit there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
I hope I’m not too loud lest I wake their sleepy heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
But I had to get up, I needed to crap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my throne to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Still pulling up my underwear to cover my ass.

I live on the coast so there wasn’t any snow
Just dreary wet grass that I can see below.
When, what to my very tired eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

A decrepit old driver, not lively or quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
He didn’t look well, he must be inflamed,
But he whistled, and shouted, and called his reindeer by name!

"Now Crohns! Now, Colitis! Now, Pain and Grouch!
On, Abscess! On, Fistula! On, Ostomy and J-Pouch!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

And then, in an instant, I heard on the roof,
The scratching and farting of that big, silly goof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe,
He looked very fatigued, he moved really slow.

A bundle of toys he had flung on my chair,
He looked in pain, it must be a flare.

His eyes, how they squinted! His face quite scary!
He let out a fart, not pleasant or airey!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
I was getting prepared, he was gonna let another one go.

The bags under his eyes, I saw his fatigue
That comes from living with this dam Crohn's Disease.

He had a broad face, (must be the Prednisone),
If he didn’t hurry, he would soon need the throne.


He was chubby and plump, a right smelly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
The moon face, mood swings and twitch of the head,
Soon gave me to know it was for sure the Pred.


He spoke not a word, but went straight to the bathroom,
And filled my toilet with a splat! and a KABOOM!

And laying his fingers, covering his nose,
Giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, he now weighed so much less,
He thanked me and apologized for the big mess.
But when I heard him exclaim, I realized he knew our plight,
“I have Crohn’s Disease too, it’s going to be one HELL of a night!!”

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 20

Opening the bathroom stall this morning to find...


... sleeping pills !!
(you know you want them....)

Friday, December 19, 2014

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 19

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... a spray bottle of "Crohn-Away" !!
(for those days you just want it to go away)

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 17

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... a "365 Reasons Why You Can't Do Something" book 
(one for every day of the year, cuz you're going to need it)

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Monday, December 15, 2014

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 15

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... energy drinks !!!
(and OH do we need that!)

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 14

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


...multivitamins !!
(even though you will never be able to absorb all the vitamins you'll need)

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 13

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... egg nog
(you know, just to smell it, cuz you can't drink it)

Friday, December 12, 2014

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 12

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... liquid Iron
(cuz anemia is a bitch)



Thursday, December 11, 2014

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 11

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... unlimited access to Emergency parking at the hospital

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Remicade : Day 869

Almost 2 and a half years now and I have some advice for those of you, like myself, that has problems with thin veins....this is what I do when it's "Infusion Day".


Before I leave for the clinic I run my hand under warm water to make the vein pop out, then dry it and slip a ski glove on (yes I do this in summer as well).  When I get to the clinic, I take off the glove and put it under a heating pad and crank it up to high.  By the time the nurse gets to me to insert the needle, my veins are puffed up like they're swollen and about to burst......and the needle slides right in easily and no pain.  Awesome.


Give it a try next time.....

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 10

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... a heating pad
(to wrap around your hand on infusion day, to make your veins pop up)

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 9

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... a micro-chip implant that zaps you every time you want to eat something you know you shouldn't.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Crohns Advent Calendar - Day 8

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... a mega-dose needle full of B-12 !!!

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Crohn's Advent Calendar - Day 7

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... a skeleton key to open ALL gas station bathroom doors !!
(cuz sometimes there's no time to go inside a wait to ask for the key)

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Crohn's Advent Calendar - Day 6

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... 365 travel size packs of hand wipes !!
(one for every day of the year....they're not just for hands anymore.....)

Friday, December 5, 2014

Do The Dance

I received this video from a reader, Cheryl Diamond, and she thought we could all use a laugh (as we do)


https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=811780608860331&set=vb.100000851997245&type=2&theater




Tune in tomorrow for the next door of my advent calendar...

Crohn's Advent Calendar - Day 5

Opening the bathroom stall door this morning to find...


... new underwear !!!!!
(cuz you know you'll need it)

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Crohn's Advent Calendar - Day 4

Opening the bathroom stall door to find...


... a 160 roll pack of toilet paper !!
(you know...to last the week)

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Crohn's Advent Calendar - Day 3

Opening the bathroom stall door to find...


... an industrial size can of air freshener !!


.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Crohn's Advent Calendar - Day 2

Opening the bathroom stall door to find.........


....a "slimming" mirror !
(because after all that prednisone, it's a nice reminder of what you looked like before)

Monday, December 1, 2014

Crohn's Advent Calendar - Day 1

Came downstairs this chilly December 1st, to open the first door on my Crohn's Advent calendar to see what I got


Opening the bathroom stall door to find.........


....... a fruit cake !
(because you know it's going to have you running to the bathroom for days!)