You Might Be a Crohnie

If you think you're feeling better but your IBD starts to laugh at you
... you might be a Crohnie

Goodbye 2019

Looking back at 2019.... not very exciting really, as far as my crohn's is concerned.

I only had one hospital visit for my pesky little peri anal abscess which included a minor surgery and 24 hours admission.

My Remicade infusions were going fine, but I was starting to feel tired all the time...all the time...so after several tests, including a colonoscopy, it was determined that my body was becoming immune to the drug and it was time to start something new. So, having said that, my 2020 will start with a new drug, Humira. My first injections start January 2 and as I have never injected my self, ever, it should be an interesting way to ring in the new year. I need to get 4 injections the first day.... fun.

On the upside, I was nominated for two WEGO health awards, which is always a great honor. To be recognized by your peers is a humbling experience and I don't take it lightly.

In 2020, I'm looking to maybe meet some fellow IBD'ers or other chronic illness fighters. I have had crohn's for over 30 years and have yet to meet fellow warriors, so that's somewhat of a new years resolution I guess.

Finally I'd like to thank everyone that has come by and read my blog, left comments, emailed me or contacted me through Twitter and Facebook. Your support and input has been uplifting and I appreciate everything, thank you.

Happy new year everyone and all the best for a happy and healthy(er) 2020 !!

~ Vern

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 25

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

....... hope   !! 

Hope....they will find the cause
Hope....they will find the cure
Hope....that we all spend as little time in hospital as possible
Hope....that all Crohnie's and all IBD'ers around the world, have the most healthiest 2020!

And that closes the Advent calendar for another year.  
Looking forward to next year.
Thanks for stopping by!!


Have a very Merry Christmas and all the best for a happy and healthy 2020 !!!!

~Vern

'Twas the Night Before a Crohnie Christmas

Every year for the past 14 years, I read "Twas the night before Christmas" to my kids on Christmas eve before they go to bed....
Here's the Crohn's Disease version that I might read to my kids this year as they are older, but I'll still stick to tradition and read the classics.
***warning: language***


‘Twas the night before a Crohnie Christmas, quiet as a mouse
Trying to get to the bathroom without disturbing the spouse.
The TP was hung by the toilet with care,
In hopes that I don’t run out whilst I sat there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
I hope I’m not too loud lest I wake their sleepy heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
But I had to get up, I needed to crap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my throne to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Still pulling up my underwear to cover my ass.

I live on the coast so there wasn’t any snow
Just dreary wet grass that I can see below.
When, what to my very tired eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

A decrepit old driver, not lively or quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
He didn’t look well, he must be inflamed,
But he whistled, and shouted, and called his reindeer by name!

"Now Crohns! Now, Colitis! Now, Pain and Grouch!
On, Abscess! On, Fistula! On, Ostomy and J-Pouch!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

And then, in an instant, I heard on the roof,
The scratching and farting of that big, silly oaf.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe,
He looked very fatigued, he moved really slow.
A bundle of toys he had flung on my chair,
He looked in pain, it must be a flare.

His eyes, how they squinted! His face quite scary!
He let out a fart, not pleasant or airey!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
I was getting prepared, he was gonna let another one go.

The bags under his eyes, I saw his fatigue
That comes from living with this dam Crohn's Disease.
He had a broad face, (must be the Prednisone),
If he didn’t hurry, he would soon need the throne.

He was chubby and plump, a right smelly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
The moon face, mood swings and twitch of the head,
Soon gave me to know it was for sure the Pred.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to the bathroom,
And filled my toilet with a splat! and a KABOOM!
And laying his fingers, covering his nose,
Giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, he now weighed so much less,
He thanked me and apologized for the big mess.
But when I heard him exclaim, I realized he knew my plight,
“I have Crohn’s Disease too, it’s going to be one HELL of a night!!”

Merry Christmas everyone, hopefully it is disease-free. At least for one day

-Vern

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 24

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

  a spray bottle of "Crohn-Away" !!  (for those days you just want it to go away) !!  

See you tomorrow for the last door.

12 Days a Crohnie Christmas

Two days til Christmas and here are my 12 days for IBD'ers

Now everyone sing......

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Crohns Disease gave to me.........

12 rolls of toilet paper,
11 packs of underwear,
10 visits to the ER,
9 blood tests,
8 B12 shots,
7 different doctors,
6 Remicade infusions,
5 fistulaaaaaaaaaaa's,
4 kidney stones,
3 bone density tests,
2 peri-anal abscesses

and a painful colonoscopyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Merry Christmas!!!

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 23

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

  Free pass through the ER !!  (no more waiting)

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 22

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

  Tylenol 3's !!   

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 21

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

  Oxy Clean !! (essential for laundry days)  

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 20

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

  a T-shirt that says "I know I don't LOOK sick....." (it's easier this way)  


See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 19

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

  More toilet paper  !!  (cuz you have already run out)

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 18

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

   Humira !! 

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 17

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

   Colon prep !! (its not wanted...but needed)

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 16

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

  Heating pad !! 

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 15

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

   Dry shampoo !! (best thing for hospital)

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 14

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

  Protein bars !! 

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 13

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

  New, fully loaded, iPad !! (it gets boring in hospital)

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 12

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

  Sweat pants !!

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 11

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

  Poo-Pourri !!  (your friends and family will thank you)

See you tomorrow for the next door.

You Might Be a Crohnie

If your hospital records read in volumes instead of pages...
you might be a Crohnie

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 10

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

  Clear fluids !! 

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 9

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

  Baby wipes !!

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 8

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

  Germoline !! (antiseptic cream)

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 7

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

 crosswords and word searches !! (for those hospital stays or infusion days)

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 6

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

Remicade !!

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 5

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

Prednisone !!

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 4

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

epsom salts !!

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Inflammatory Bowel Disease in Canada

There are 270,000 people living with IBD (Inflammatory bowel disease) in Canada.

That's 1 in every 132

That's too many.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 3

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

Vitamins B, C, D, E... and every other letter in the alphabet

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 2

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

the book "10,000 Excuses NOT To Attend An Event Because of Your IBD: Volume 2"

See you tomorrow for the next door.

Crohns Advent Calendar : Day 1

And here we are once again, hard to believe it's been a year already.
It's the Crohn's advent calendar, let's see what there is this year, shall we....

Opening the bathroom stall door to find:

Toilet paper !!

See you tomorrow for the next door.