It's not like a normal colonoscopy because, well, I don't have much colon left...about 6 inches, so it's more of a flexible sigmoidoscopy with sedation.
My "date" was on a Wednesday, so I started to prep on the Monday prior by starting to fast. I had breakfast that morning but then nothing except water or broth for the rest of the time. Drastic? Maybe, but I wanted to look good.... my colon that is. I found after all these years, not eating is easier than taking the disgusting colon prep. The day before, I take two Dulcolax, just in case there's anything left cuz by now, it's just water coming out.
My test isn't until the afternoon, so I have what I'm going to wear laid out. I'm going for minimalism today, t-shirt and track pants, mainly so I don't have a lot to take off when I get there. No accessories except for my drivers license (because it has my medical number on it) and one ski glove. Ski glove, you might ask? Yes. I normally have the IV put into my left hand, so I heat my hand before heading out, then slide the glove on. Keeps my veins nice and big.
After getting dressed, I now just wait for my ride. I can't drive because of the sedation, conscience sedation. Not sure why they call it that, cuz I never remember anything until the next day.
I get to the outpatient clinic, check in and usually only wait less than 5 minutes. It's like I've arrived at the restaurant and waiting for my table. The nurse calls my name and I head to my chair where she goes over my name, birth date and why I'm there. She tells me to take everything off except my socks and shoes....moving a little fast for my liking LOL...and slip into the little blue number she's laid out for me. She said she'd be back with my IV, like I've just made a drink order, and covered my hands in a warm blanket. There's 3 other people sitting waiting, all of us dressed the same, but I always find it amusing. Sitting in the big comfy recliners, little blue "dress", socks and shoes and holding your belongings in a cloth bag. For me though, I'm all that PLUS my big black ski glove on the left hand...sexy! The nurse comes back with my IV "order" and asks me my name, birth date again and then sits down to do my IV....in my right hand! She explained they needed my right hand because I would be laying on my left side. Oh well, at least my left hand veins were poppin' ! No worries, at least she did a good job and the IV slid right in no problem, now it was just sitting and waiting for my name to be called. I never bring my phone or anything just in case someone makes off with it. I never expect to get in on time. After all these years, I don't think I've ever had a test that was on time, so why fret over it. It was about 30-35 minutes later another nurse came and called my name and verified my name and birth date...again. We walked down to the room where my Dr. was sitting reviewing her notes on the computer about me. There were three other nurses in the room prepping everything while I undid my little blue gown and laid on the table, had electrodes stuck to my body, finger pulse attached, all the while "chit-chatting" with my Dr. I've had my gastroenterologist for 30 years so the conversations are always light hearted, but this time she was discussing how I will need to switch from a biologic (Remicade, Infliximab) to a biosimilar (Inflectra, Renflexis) because the Government "said so". It's a touchy subject for me and one of the nurses knew it because my heart rate went up talking about it. After all the chit chat, the Dr was ready for my meds. I always ask for lots, because I dont want to remember anything. She started injecting the first one...there are 3... and tells me to relax and not to fight it. Sounds like she was slipping me something in my drink, but she knows me too well, because I always try to keep my eyes open as much as I can, even to the point of opening them reeeeeeally wide to stop them from closing LOL.
The next thing I remember.... I'm at home. I don't remember anything. My wife picked me up and she said I was already dressed and sitting in the wheelchair waiting for her. I don't remember getting dressed. Apparently the nurse discussed paperwork after the "date" but I have no idea what about. She took a nice video of me after she got me into the car where, I think, I was pretending to be stripper putting my glove on and off while humming. I don't remember the drive home, getting into my house, talking with my kids, going to bed......nothing. Apparently, though, it was quite humorous. Like I had too many drinks. Have look and listen.....
Last year my wife told me that I was pretending to be driving a race car while she was wheeling me out of the clinic, this year I was a stripper.
Still not sure what the camera saw inside, hopefully its all good, but we'll do it all again next year.
Wonder what I'll be next time....
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