Crohn's Disease Obituary

As I lay on the couch dealing with the three abscesses in a NOT so pleasant area, gas pains and fatigue and while waiting for tomorrow to come as it is my year anniversary for Remicade infusions.....I thought of the day that Crohn's, and bowel diseases in general, will be cured.
So, what would an obituary say about Crohn's........here's my version......

Crohn’s Disease, prominent bowel disease, died last night from complications of losing his soul mates Ileitis and Colitis. No one is really sure of his age, but according to written records, he was over 81 years old.

Asked about the loss of his dear friend, IBS, the soon to be obsolete and forgotten disease, described Crohn’s as complicated and was looked up to by other diseases of the body for his wide range of symptoms.

In the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche.  This hidden quasi-Freudian persona surfaced in the super-ego-like pursuit of his desire to be the number one disease.   

Sadly, the protracted search ended early Monday morning in complete and utter failure.  Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Crohn’s secretly clung to the belief he was to live forever.

He is survived by IBS but has also come to the realization that soon another obituary will be written about him and will only survive in the pages of old medical journals.

Maybe...??  One day...??